This is my personal experience with the airplane foods: it sucks! And if you’re on a diet, during the flight you’re actually not on a diet.
Most people who have been on more than ten long-haul flights will agree on one thing: airplane foods are pretty lame (to say the least). Of course, I’m not talking first class, catered by Ducasse and Robuchon and the likes, but the good old economy.
Lovely airplane tray! (After I ate what could be eaten – sorry forgot to take the before pic!)
When complaints arise, airlines shield behind the fact that at high altitude, food needs to be saltier to taste right, the body dehydrates a lot, blah blah blah.
Is that an excuse to serve us some horrendous mush that’s supposed to be chicken? Or ridiculous ‘desserts’ which are branded as ‘caramel brownies’ but turn out to be 2/3 sugar and high fructose corn syrup with a dash of bleached flour…?
No, of course not!
These Airplane Foods…
Some companies ask you about your diet restrictions (Austrian Airways – I claimed to be diabetic) but give you the same meal as the others; while some others (American Airlines) don’t ask you anything and force you to choose between ‘pasta bolognese’ and ‘chicken and rice.’
I thus picked the chicken and proceeded to eat only the chicken (you know ketogenic and all…!).
I’m pretty damn certain that if this was chicken in the first place, it had been soaked in brine or some other watery substance to make it moister, heavy, mushy and as a result is more easily chewable.
Anyway, in all likelihood, it was merely a chicken nugget type of thing, aka pulverized chicken debris, bleached and re-agglomerated to make a semblance of chicken breast… (Who believes that?!).
The ‘sauce‘ coating the ‘chicken‘ (sorry about the abundance of quotation marks but this didn’t qualify for the real words!) was an indescribable white-ish concoction with hints of lemon (but not really) and thyme (but not really) with probably a ton of sugar to make the overall taste ’rounder’.
The ‘starter’ of the tray was a small portion of iceberg lettuce with a 1/16th of tomato (literally!). Luckily the salad dressing was not overly artificially sweetened and featured some good olive oil and tarragon vinegar.
The rest of the tray was:
- The usual tasteless, crustless, foamy substance that most airlines call bread (it helps you not to miss bread when you see such an abomination!)
- Two crackers (again, tasteless non-offensive for most people, meh – btw if they know the food has to be saltier up there, why don’t they give crackers with a crust of salt and herbs or something mildly interesting?!)
- A piece of ‘swiss’ cheese (first ingredient: cheddar! Then a host of hydrolyzed milk derivatives – another method of alterations also on display – with a bunch of fake flavors and to finish, xantham and guar.). The texture was in effect more weird milk jelly than cheese. I ate it because it was low carb and wanted more than three ‘pieces’ of chicken to eat, but it was not pleasant by any sense of the word!
- A portion of butter.
- But no ‘drinkable coffee’ to bulletproof – only the watered down sewer water that 1970s America was told was coffee!)
- For dessert, I’ll let you have a quick look at the ingredients list… so many types of sugars and carbs I stopped counting!
BTW, the usual nuts served with first drink turn out to be pretzels on AA… unlucky for me! Where are my nuts?!!
What About The Drinks?
Drinks-wise, they are a lot better.
With an easy to drink 2017 Cabernet-Sauvignon ‘Les Thermes’ from Languedoc-Roussillon. The bubbly wine is surprisingly lovely (only flying out of Europe) – not Champagne but worth checking out.
The scotch is Dewar’s White Label, and the Bourbon is Jack Daniel‘s (you have to pay for those when leaving the US but not as you fly in for some inexplicable reason…!)
It Could Be Better!
In conclusion, I have to say I always pick the cheapest airline and don’t have any business complaining (and I don’t really because I know what to expect and was soon snacking on my Pork Rinds and homemade trail mix!).
But I am pretty damn certain that with slightly more effort, airline companies could offer a decent meal made with wholesome stuff, for no more money, even in cattle class!
PS: I wish all the best to all Americans who mostly fly within the countries’ borders (and some of these flights are long; it’s a big ol’ country!).
They do not get snacks or alcohol unless they pay for it (harsh) – aside from sodas and juices, the only choice from low carbs is that ‘coffee‘ and soda water… (coconut milk, almond milk, anyone?)
Any memorable experiences with airplane foods? Especially as a person on a diet? Any techniques to make it through?